Kingdom Hearts Outtakes
by kansatsu-tobikunai
Summary: A bunch of weird outtakes from Kingdom Hearts...Much randomness, much OOCness, a rather crazy legion of minor characters, and one very arrogant muse. Please R&R! Now complete! I'll miss you all... T.T Rated for some language.
1. It Begins

Well... this is my first fanfiction so... it might not be very good. Please R&R! I don't care if you flame me, no one forced you to read this, so...

Disclaimer: I have absolutely no witty ways of saying I don't own KH **-.-**... So .. I don't!

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**o-Chapter One: It Begins...-o **

-End of Opening Scene-

**Sora:** _(Falling)_

**Hikaru Utada:** _(sings)_ terebi, keshite, watashi no koto dake wo, miteiteyo.

**Sora:** _(still falling)_

_(music ends)_

**Sora:** _(crashes into the stained glass platform)_ Itai...

**Director:** CUT! Sora, You were supposed to land on your feet!

**Sora:** Gomen, Director-sama... guess I fell asleep during that intro cutscene...

**Riku:** _(slaps forehead)_ Why's _he_ the keyblade master again?

**Sora:** Because I'm smarter than you, so there!

**Riku:** Riiiight. And the fact that you slept through falling from hundereds of feet just _proves_ that. **9.9**

**Sora:** Damn straight, it does!

**Cast and Crew:** **-.-U**

-Scene from above, Take II-

_(music ends)_

**Sora: **_(gets ready to land on the platform... but a trampoline has been placed on it, and he bounces back up 100 feet)_

**Kairi and Riku, offstage:** _(Laughing to hard to breathe)_

**Kairi:**_ (between gasps for breath) _Oh my God... Riku... that was... the best... prank... we've ever pulled...

**Sora:** _(lands on top of her)_ I agree! n.n

**Riku:** HENTAI! _(hits him over the head with the darkness keyblade)_

**Director:** CUT!

-First Platform-

**Mysterious Voice:** So much to do, so little time. Take your time, don't be afraid. The door is still shut...

**Sora: o.O** Uh.. heh heh... yeah... who is this exactly...?

**Myserious Voice:** _(sarcastically)_ It's Dominoes Pizza. **9.9**

**Director: **Cut! Sora, you don't answer!

**Sora:** So, what then! Am I supposed to pretend I find it perfectly normal that there's a voice in my head telling me about a closed door?

**Director:** Yes.

**Sora:** Ooookay... may I ask why?

**Director:** I don't know! Just do it right this time!

**Sora:** Okay, okay. Sheesh...

-Before Fighting the Darkside-

**Mysterious Voice:** But don't be afraid...

**Sora:** _(trys to escape, but is trapped. He looks over the edge of the platform and... falls)_

**Riku:** (offstage): Here we go again...

**Director:** Cut!

**-+-Owari-+-

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A/N: Well, minna-sama? How was it? More chapters to follow! Oh, and gomen for all the Sora bashing... main characters are easy to make fun of. Don't worry, though, Sora-chan will get his revenge!

Sora: Yay! **n.n**

Riku and Kairi: **-.-** Oh fun...

Ja ne!


	2. The Heartless are Coming!

And now for another interesting chapter! **n.n** Right now I'm in both a very good mood, (because, a), on my new game I finally kicked A/R's bishounen butt into next week, and b), I have reviews! Whee! Arigato to Blu Rose, Sora will get a little chance for revenge in this chapter, but his ultimate vengence comes at the very end...) and in a very gloomy mood (because... SCHOOL starts tomorrow **T.T**... It's so unfair...). Well, anyway, on to the outtakes!

**Disclaimer:  
Kairi: **Trust me, if Tobikunai-sama owned us, we'd have all gone crazy...  
**Sora: **I'd _quit._  
**Riku: **Ditto.  
**Tobikunai:** Tadaima! What were you all saying about me?  
**Sora, Riku, and Kairi:**_(hide computer screen behind their backs)_ Nothin' **n.n**

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**o-Chapter Two:The Heartless Are Coming, The Heartless Are Coming!-o**

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-Sunset on Day One- 

**Riku:** Just sitting here won't change a thing... It's the same old stuff... So lets go._(leans forward to get up, only...)_ Augh! I can't... my damn shirt is stuck to the... OI! Someone put glue on this tree!

**Sora: n.n** _(innocently hides a can of superglue behind his back) _

-End of Day One-

**Riku:** Sora! _(tosses him a paopu fruit)_

_(The paopu fruit beans poor Sora in the head)_

**Sora:** ** X.X** Itai... Why's it always me?

**Director:** Cut!

-Battling Sephie- 

**Selphie:** Okay, don't hold back! You ready? _(spins jump rope around and charges forward, or something to that affect, but it gets caught on her leg and she trips)_ Ouchies...

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Selphie:** You ready? _(spins jump rope, but this time it catches on Sora's ankles, and he falls)_ Ha! You can't escape now, koishii!

**Sora: O.O**

**Kairi:** Dammit, Selphie, Sora-chan's mine! _(slaps her across the head)_

**Selphie: **Darn... _(pouts)_

_ -_Before Battle with Darkside II-

**Darkside:** _(Rises up out of the ground)_

**Sora: -.-** You again? You're annoying.

**Darkside: **You're mean... **T.T** You don't have the right to talk, you're the main character! I want my fifteen minutes of fame too, dammit!

**-+-Owari-+- **

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A/N: Ookay, I know these chapters are short, but, hey, whatever. I like them this way. (Readers: Oh sure, YOU do...) Hope you enjoyed it, stay tuned, I plan to update pretty often! 


	3. The title won't fit in this damn textbox

Wow, I feel so inspired! **n.n** Arigato, minna-sama! Oookay, on to traverse town it is! And now... I need to think of an idea_. (Opens a game script)._

**Disclaimer:** One day, I shall use the power of darkness to rule the WORLD! But it looks like for now, I don't own KH... T.T

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**o-Chapter Three: Shadows, Gunblades, and Other Forms of DOOM-o**

-Entering Traverse Town-

**Goofy:** Look, a star's goin' out!

**Donald: **_(squints at the sky)_ No, I'm pretty sure that's a helicopter...

**Helicopter:** ZOOOOOM _(crashes on top of them)_.

**Director:** Cut! We need a medic in here! Guess we should be more careful about filming this stuff on location...

-Before Fighting Leon-

**Leon: **Okay, kid, let's see that keyblade.

**Sora:** What! There's no way you're getting this! _(whips out his keyblade to get into fighting stance, but loses his grip on it and it flies out of his hands, hitting Leon on the head)._

**Leon: X.X**

**Sora:** I won! Sweet! That was easy! _(glances at script)_ oh yeah... _(faints)_

**Yuffie:** _(snigger, snigger)_ Why're you in a fight that the person playing doesn't even have to win? You suck!

**Leon:** Oh, shut up, he must have leveled a lot. -.-

**Yuffie:** Sure... **9.9**

**Director:** Cut! _(slaps forehead) _Why me...?

-Scene Where Donald and Goofy Meet Aerith-

**Aerith:** Excuse me. Did the king send you?

**Donald:** Eeeek! Chotto matte... Aerith...? **O.O** Aren't you dead?

**Aerith:** Well... yeah... I'm kinda... a zomibe. **n.n**

**Donald and Goofy: OoO**

**Director:** Cut! You have to admit though, we all wondered why she was there...

-Scene Where Everone is Explaining Everything- (Wow, that was really specific -.-)

**Sora: **Well, I didn't ask for this! Why me?

**Leon:** Because this... is your story.

**Sora and Yuffie:** _(blink, blink)_

**Leon: **Ha ha... sorry, couldn't resist..

**Director:** Cut, cut, CUT! Oh, Kami-sama, give me strength...-.-

-Scene Where Sora Meets Donald and Goofy-

**Donald and Goofy:** The KEY!

**Donald:** Ano.. Keyblade master? Why do you wear clown shoes?

**Sora:** yahooligans. yahoo. com could not be found. Please check the name and try again.

**Donald and Goofy:** _(blink, blink)_ ...

-Before Leaving Traverse Town-

**Info Screen Thingy:** Obtained the power of fire. Learned the magic spell Fire.

**Sora:** Sugoi! FIRE!

**Scenery:** _(catches on fire, within five minutes the entire set has burned to the ground)_

**Sora:** Something tells me that's going to come out of our paycheck...

**Director:** Something tells me that you're absolutely right, spikey.

**Sora: -.-**

** -+-Owari-+-

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A/N: Wow, this chapter was easier than expected. Mostly because of all my fabulous reveiwers! **n.n** When I started this fic, I expected to be surrounded by more flames than Shishio, but you've all been sooo nice! Domo arigatou gozaimasu! **n.n** See ya next time! Ja ne!


	4. And We Wondered Why They Called It the

Oh, gomen minna, I haven't updated in FOREVER, have I? T.T Sorry, I've been so busy with school and stuff. But There are updates now! Yay!

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**o-Chapter Four: And We Wondered Why They Called It the Bizzare Room-o**

-Scene Where Everyone Shrinks-

**Doorknob:** Try that bottle over there... _(falls asleep)_

**Sora:**... oohkay..._(takes a sip from the shrinking cup, but instead of shrinking, he grows 20 feet taller and hits his head on the ceiling)_ Itai...

**Director:** CUT! Okay, Riku, that was your idea, wasn't it?

**Riku:** _(trying to look innocent)_ Who, me?

-Scene Where Sora Gets Back to Normal Size (Lotus Forest)-

**Sora:** Oooh! Sugoi! I'm not tiny anymore! Wheeee! (runs in circles)

**Donald: **Yanno, we should really be more careful about how much sugar he gets...

**Sora:** Wheee! _(accidenaly steps on Donald and Goofy)_ Whoops...

-Scene where Sora Tries to Save Alice-

**Queen:** My word is LAW! So there! _(THBBPPT!)_

**Sora:** Sessha does not submit to such a law! **-.-x**

**Cast:** _(Blink Blink)_

**Donald:** Ooookay, Sora I'm taking away your manga, _now._

**Sora:** NOOOOOO!

-After Obtaining the 4th Evidence Box-

**Info Screen Thingy:** Obtained the power of ice. Learned the magic spell Blizzard.

**Sora: n.n** SUGOI! BLIZZARD! _(freezes Donald into a solid block of ice)_ Oh... whoops. I have bad luck with magic, don't I...

-Scene Before Fighting Trickmaster-

**Cat-thingy:** Are you prepared for the worst? If not, too bad! n.n

_(BANG)_

AOISHI-SAMA!

_(The door has been thrown wide open and on the other side is a guy a mask and stripes painted on his arms, a bodybuilder-looking guy with lots of scars, and a tall guy who looks a bit like a chicken.)_

**Han'nya:** Oh. Gomen. Wrong set.

**Shikijo:** Damn, I hate this anime...

**Sano:** Ditto**. -.-U**

**Han'nya:** You think YOU have it bad? I've had to die TEN TIMES IN A ROW because stupid Kanryuu can't remeber his lines!

**Director: **CUT! Well, that was... interesting...

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Cat-thingy:** Are you prepared for the worst? If not, too bad! n.n

_(trickmaster zooms down and lands in front of them)_

**Sora:**_That's_ the worst?

**Goofy:** The Heartless aren't so creepy anymore...

**Trickmaster:** T.T Do you guys have to insult every enemy you come across?

**Sora:** Yup.

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A/N: Yes, there are a lot of RK references in this chapter, but... hey, whatever.I'm obsessed. Can't wait to get vol. 17! And, back on the topic of KH... I beat the Hades Cup! Again. **n.n **Well, anyways, Ja ne!  



	5. A Lesson in the Care of 3 headed Dogs

I beat KH! Again. So... sad... _(sniff)_ T.T And ASAS is sooo cool. O.O I wish I could get the Deep Dive FMV... anyone know what it's about? I can't get Final Mix, 'cause I know like three hiragana and twenty words in Japanese, so it's not like I could understand it... (By the way, hurkydoesntknow, "gomen" means "sorry" n.n) Well, it looks like it's Coliseum time, ne? Fun! n.n This chapter will have all the Coliseum outtakes, but most of them are from the prelims ----) Cerberus part of the world.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned KH, the second game would be out by now! But I don't. (fans: ((sniff)) )

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**o-Chapter Five: A Lesson in the Care of 3-headed Dogs-o**

-Recieving Thunder- (Anyone notice a pattern here?)

**Info Screen Thingy:** Attained the power of lightning. Learned The magic spell Thunder.

**Sora:** OoOOooOh, Sugoi...

**Donald and Goofy:** _(oh ((BLEEEP))..)_

**Sora:** THUNDER! _(Fries Goofy to a crisp)_ Oh, gomen, didn't see you there...

-Scene After Defeating and/or Getting Your Butt Kicked By Cloud-

**Cerberus:** Grrrr! (Stomps on Cloud ((A/N:How dare he! T.T (----Cloud fangirl)) )

**Hades: **Oh, right, there was one other rule I forgot: Accidents happen.

**Cerberus:**MMMMMMNN _(jumps back off of Cloud)_

**Hades:** wtf?

**Cerberus:** Rrrroar grrrrr mmrrrr roar! (Translation: The spikes! THEY BURN! T.T)

**Cloud:** _(Jumps back up)_ Ha! See, Sora? Behold my SECRET TECHNIQUE! That's why I always spike my, hair, you see, it becomes a deadly weapon if you are ever steppped on by a three headed dog!

**Sora:** O.o (nods) Got it. Never un-spike your hair.

**Donald:** And... you... umm... expect to be stepped on by a three-headed dog?

**Cloud:** Well... no... but...

**Director:** Yes, yes, facinating, now lets get a veterinarian in here so we can redo this scene, PLEASE!

-Fighting Cerberus-

**Cerberus:** Grrr! (Fireball-itizes Sora)

**Sora:** Itai...

**Kairi:** Stop! Stop it! Mmnngg... Don't you dare hurt my Sora-chan!

**Sora, Donald, Goofy and Cerberus** ?.?

**Kairi: **Don't worry, Sora! I'll take it from here!

**Sora: **Huh? Ooookay... (Backs away)

**Kairi:** Here ya go, Cerberus-san... (_hands him a necklace of prayer beads...)_

**Cerberus:** Ummm... _(lets her put it on him)_

**Kairi:** Inuyasha, SIT! _(Cereberus crashes to the ground)_ Ha! That was easy!

**Cast and Crew:** _(Blink, blink)_ Well then...

**Director: **Okay, cut!

-Sealing the Keyhole-

_(Sora, Donald, and Goofy shove the huge wooden block out of the way)_

**Sora:** Yanno, I'm pretty sure we could have figured that out without the marks on the floor...

**Goofy:** Oh, we could figure a lot of the trinity mark moves all out without the symbols. But it's easier to just act like we can't and let the person with the controller die of frustration at our stupidity.n.n

**Sora:** O.o (gasp!) Goofy! Stupidity has four sylables! That's way to much intelligence for you! Are you feeling all right!

**Goofy: **-.-

-Platinum Match-

**Sora:** O.O This is Sephiroth! Hey this'll be no problem!

**Sephy:** Huh? What d'you mean?

**Sora:** I'll just confiscate your masamune and throw you to your fangirls.

**Sephiroth Fangirls of the Universe:** Sephy-chan! Sugoi! n.n

**Sephy: **O.O Jenova save me.

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A/N: Poor Sephy.. but ya have to admit, it'd work... 

Sephy: I hate you...

Tobikunai: n.n Too bad, Sephy.

Sephy: Stop calling me that.

Tobikunai: OK, Sephy.

Sephiroth: Grrr... (supernova-s Tobikunai)

Tobikunai: AUGH! That was 93 percent of my HP!

Sephy: Duh.

Will Sora finally get back at Riku? Will Sabor ever go away? WILL TOBIKUNAI BE ABLE TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER WITH ONLY 7 PERCENT OF HER HP? Find out in Chapter Six!

Riku: Oh, shut up already, Tobikunai-sama.

Ja ne!


	6. In the Jungle, the Miiighty Jungle

Tobikunai: (In a corner, moaning)

Sephiroth: SHUT UP! GOD! I mean, you still have 14 HP left...

Tobikunai: T.T

Kansatsu (Tobikunai's muse): Ano... Tobikunai-sama? Why don't you just cast a cure spell?

Tobikunai: Wow, great idea! CURAGA! (is brought back to her normal 200 HP) Why didn't I think of that?

Kansatsu: 'Cause I'm the muse! I think _for_ stupid people like you! n.n

Tobikunai: Right. Hey, what? I'm gonna KILL you!

Kansatsu: Eeeep!

Tobikunai: SHIN'E! (die!) Oh, by the way, I don't own KH!

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**o-Chapter Six: In the Jungle, the Miiiighty Jungle...-o**

-Entering the World-

**Sora:** Mmmgg... X..x

**Sabor:** Grr! (attacks Sora)

**Sora:** Eeek! O.O (hits him with the keyblade)

_(suddenly, a group of people wearing badges shaped like bear pawprints run into the room)_

**Random Animal Shelter Manager #1:** Sora, you bad boy! How dare you abuse this poor, defenseless kitty!

**Sabor:** n.n Ha, ha.

**Sora: **Uhh... I think aforemented "kitty" was kind of abusing _me. _

**RASM#2:** Oh, don't talk nonsense. How could such a sweet and innocent little thing hurt anyone? n.n

**Sora:** ... -.- Never mind.

-After Finding Your Party-

**Sora:**_ ( walking along outside the tent, singing Simple and Clean in a horribly off-key voice)_

**Sabor:** Raaaar! _(pounces)_

**Sora: **Holy crap, not you again! Why! Why do the fates force me to fight these wimpy bosses over and over and over... _(sob)_

**Sabor, Donald, and Goofy:**_(sweatdrop)_

-About Five Minutes Later, At the Cliff-

**Sora:** _(still singing. Donald and Goofy have decided to start wearing earplugs)_ ...is the way that yer makin' me feeeeeel tonight...

**Sabor: **Grooowwwlll!_ (pounces again)_

**Sora:** -.- Won't you PLEASE go away?

**Sabor:** No.

**Sora:** Why not?

**Sabor:** n.n Becaus I am a member of... **THE MINOR CHARACTER CONSTANT RETURNING LEAGUE**! Y'see, the MCCRL is trying to get bigger parts in this game by returning to fight with Sora untill Director-sama goes insane and recasts us! n.n Darkside founded it! n.n

**Director:** CUT! And no Sabor, you CANNOT be Riku! So don't even ask!

-Before Fighting Clayton-

**BOOM**

**Stealth Sneak:** _(Breaks open the wall)_

**Clayton: **_(climbs on to it... only, suddenly, it's not there)_

**Director:** CUT! Riku, get in here!

-Fighting Clayton-

**Sora:** Ha! Ha! Hya! _(Pouding the crap out of him)_

**Stealth Sneak:**_(uses his eyebeam attack on Sora)_

**Sora:** Ouch... grr... NOW I'M MAD!

**Clayton: **And I care because...?

**Sora:** _(starts singing to the tune of the "I love you, you love me song")_:

_"Clayton sucks, Clayton sucks  
We are gonna kick his butt,  
With a great big whack from this useless Kingdom Key,  
'cause we want the Jungle King, you see."_

**Cast:** Ooohkay then...

-Learning Cure-

**Info Screen Thingy: **Attained the power of healing. Learned the magic spell Cure.

**Sora:** Ooooh...

**Goofy:** Not another new spell!

**Donald:** At least he can't do anything lethal with this one...

**Aerith: **_(appearing from nowhere)_ Hey guys, what's up?

**Sora: **I just learned an new spell, see? CURE!

**Aerith:** O.o STOP! Zombies are vulernable to restorative ma- (dies)

**Sora:** Ooops?

**Director: **I hate you so much right now...

_(A/N: Nani? You didn't know Aerith was a zombie? Well, go re-read chapter three!)_

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_A/N: Aah, nothing like beating up an arrogant muse to put you in a mood to write...

Riku: Um... yeah. That statement made no sense.

Tobikunai: Aw, shut up.

And now, for my very first reveiwer's corner-y thingy! n.n

Kairi: Lack of coherent speech. That's a very bad sign.

Tobikunai: I believe I told you to shut up.

**Hiei' Ice Angel: **_Don't feel supid. It's totally ok. Itai: "painful", basically "Ouch" Sugoi: "Wow!" "Cool!" etc._

**Kairi 7:**_ Great idea! n.n **  
**_


	7. We're Back With a NaviG Piece!

Tobikunai: Okay, role call! Is everyone here? Hmmm...Sora? Hey, where's Sora?

Darkside: I could fill in for him-

Tobikunai: No, Darkside. Just _no. _

Kansatsu: Hey Keeeeeyblade Master? Where aaaare you?

Sora: Oh, hey minna-sama... Did I miss something?

Tobikunai: Baka. Where were you?

Sora: Oh, I was trying to get Sabor to quit the MCCRL. Figured if Darkside was the only member...

Darkside: Fool. You don't _know_ how many members we have.

Sora: I'm guessing that's a very bad sign.

Tobikunai: I feel sorry for you. Well... not really.

Sora: I'm so underappreciated... T.T

Tobikunai: Whatever. On to the Disclaimer!

**Disclaimer:**

Yuffie: Tobikunai doesn't own KH!

Leon: Which is a relief.

Cid: A goddamn relief.

Ghost of Aerith: Now, be nice you two...

Yuffie, Leon, and Cid: Why should we?

**o-Chapter Seven: We're Back... With a Navi-G Piece!-o**

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-Alleyway-

_(Sora Donald and Goofy try to use the red trinity, but the bars don't break)_

**Sora:** Oooh.. itai...

**Donald:** Stupid wall..

**Riku, offstage:** Oh, whoops, did I accidenally replace the breakaway wall with _real_ metal bars? My bad... n.n

**Sora:** Oh, one of these days I'll...

**Riku: **What? Use that oversized key to lock me up? Feh._ (walks away)_

**Sora:** _(evil grin)_

-Scene from Above, Take II-

_(Sora, Donald and Goofy use Red Trinity to get into the Secret Waterway)_

**Sora:** _(Looks into the Secret Waterway)_ Eeeeew!

**Goofy:** I am so not going in there...

**Donald:** Somebody get my agent on the phone!

**Director:** Cut! Since when have my main characters been replaced by all these prima donna brats? And this BETTER not have anything to do with the MCCRL!

-Entering the Empty House-

**Merlin:** Well, well... You've arrived sooner than I expected.

**Sora: **Aaahhh, HEARTLESS! _(kills him)_

**Director:** DAMMIT, SORA!

-Meanwhile, Offstage-

**Casting Official:** Ok, you guys are all here for one reason. We have to chose the new Aerith! Okay, You're up! _(points to a woman in a docter's uniform with lipstick and long black hair)_

**Megumi:** Ohohohoho! _(kitsune ears pop out of her head)_

**CO:** Umm... no. NEXT!_ (a guy wearing a smiling mask comes up)_

**Chichiri:** Ya know?

**CO:** Why are you here? You're not even a girl?

**Chichiri:** I don't know, ya know?

**CO:** NEXT!

**Darkside:** n.n

**CO:** Go away!

**Cloud:** Wait!

**CO:** O.o Not you too!

**Cloud: **No, I have an idea! I should have done this years ago... Phoenix Down!

**Aerith:**_ (Suddenly comes back to life)_ OH CLOUDIE-KUN! YAY! ARIGATO! n.n _(hugs him)_

-On the Gizmo Shop Roof-

**Sora: **_(Pulls the rope for the bell) _AGH! Too... heavy.. can't lift... (faints)

-Trying to Get Down to the Keyhole-

**Sora:** GERONIMO! _(jumps down)_

**Goofy: **Gawrsh...

**Sora:** _(Lands... but unfortunately not on his feet...)_ SPLAT!

**Director**: _(sigh...)_ Cut! Medic!

-Before Battling Gaurd Armor 2-

**Guard Armor 2:** (lands in front of them)

**Sora: **Let me guess... MCCRL, right?

**GA2:** Yup! AND PROUD OF IT!

**Sora:** -.-

-After the First Battle-

**GA2:** _(Transforms into Opposite Armor)_

**Sora:** I hate you...

-Learning Aero-

**Sora:** Yay!

**Donald and Goofy:** _(retreat to the opposite wall)_

**Sora:** Aero! _(puts the spell on himself, and charges headfirst toward the wall, bouces off it, careens backward, and crashes into Donald and Goofy) _Ooops...

**-+-Owari-+-**

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** A/N: Sorry that took so long, minna-sama...This week I discovered both the joy that is Naruto manga translations, and the evil that is eighth-grade homework... Between the two, I didn't have a lot of time...

Kansatsu: Translation: She's lazy...

Tobikunai: No one asked you...

Anyway...

**Hiei's Ice Angel:** Well.. Aerith is from FF7, ne? Let's just say she doesn't quite make it to the end of the game... and the zombie stuff... ---) Chapter 3

** hurkeydoesn'tknow: **Glad you liked it! My brother's and I actually were singing that when we couldn't beat Clayton the first time I played...

Ja ne minna-sama! n.n


	8. Be Careful What you wish For

Tobikunai: I have returned!

Kansatsu: Yeah-

Leon: Whatever. Gomen, Kansatsu-sama, but you can't steal my line.

Kansatsu: n.n Sorry...

Tobikunai: OI! Quit flirting, you too!

Kansatsu and Leon: Grrr...

Tobikunai: Ummm... I-I mean, we have to get to work!

Kansatsu: That's better.

Tobikunai: Anyway, on to Agrabah we go! Wow, I have absolutely no ideas... ah well. I'll think of something! n.n

Kansatsu: You, _think_? Don't make me laugh.

Tobikunai: Shut up...

**Disclaimer:**

Darkside: This is the MCCRL (Minor Characters Constant Returning League) saying...

Sabor: Tobikunai doesn't own KH...

Gurd Armor: Meaning we get more than one appearance! Yay!

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**o-Chapter Eight: Be Careful What You Wish For...-o**

-Meeting of the Eeeeeevil Minds-

**Jafar:** So that just leaves...

**Iago:** _(enters, flying just a liiitle to fast and comepletely misses Jafar's shoulder, crashing into the wall)_

**Jafar:** _(takes out a checklist)_ Kill the stupid parrot! Check! Okay, We're done!

**Maleficent:** You're stupid.

**Jafar:** Yes, I am. I mean- HEY!

**Maleficent:** _(Thhbbppt)_ Looooooser!

-Entering Agrabah-

**Sora:** _(walking along)_

**Heartless: **DIE!

**Sora:** O.O Okay, who let them come in here! Everybody knows that the world has to start with a nice Save Point, some items... but most importantly NO ENIMIES! I'm calling the manager!_ (takes out a cell phone)_ Huh? Pot Centipede? Can you get me the manager? Waddaya mean, you ARE the manager? God, no wonder the service sucks!

-Scene Where the Party Finds Jasmine-

**Jasmine:** But he has been deposed by Jafar, who now controls the city.

**Goofy: **Ja-fart...? That's an... interesting name...

**Jasmine:** _(laughing too hard to answer)_

-Scene Where Everyone Boards the Carpet-

**Donald:** It wants us to come along?

**Sora: **All aboard.

**Carpet:**_ (lets them all on)_

_(they fly across the desert... well halfway across the desert, before...)_

**Donald:** Heeeelp! I fell of!

**Goofy:** Oh gawrsh... I'm gonna barf... _(leans over the side of the carpet)_

**Donald:** Augh! Don't barf on _me_!

**Sora: -.-**

**Director: **CUT!

-Scene From Above, Take II-

_(everyone's flying across the desert)_

_(and flying)_

_(and flying)_

**Sora:** Ano... carpet-san? Are you sure you know where we're going?

**Carpet:** Well... uh.. y'see...

**Donald:** Either we're lost, or there's a scratch on this disk.

**Cast:** _(Blink Blink)_

**Sora:** Disk? What are you talking about?

**Goofy:** You talk like we're in some sort of video game! You've gotta stop watchin' The Matrix, Donald.

_(still flying)_

-Scene Before Fighting Pot Centipede-

**Jafar:** Settings your sights a little high, aren't you, boy?

**Sora:** Augh! His voice! It's destroying my eardrums! I'm gonna DIIIIIEEE! T.T

**Donald:** Drama queen.

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Jafar:** Settings your sights a little high, aren't you, boy?

**Sora:** Shut up, JA-FART!

**Jafar:** Stop calling me that! T.T

-Before The Boss Fight-

**Sora: **Huh? Are You Maleficent?

**Goofy:** Don't they make the perfect couple...

**Sora: **Now that's just disturbing _(shudder) _

-Boss Fight-

**Aladin: **THE LAMP! Get Jafar's lamp!

**Sora:** Right!_ (charges forward... a little too far, and lands in the lava.)_ AUGH! I'm Burning I'm BUURNING!

**Scenery:** Serves you right.

**Sora:** Hey wait... this isn't lava... it's... it's.. STRAWBERRY KOOL-AID!

**Goofy:** Dang. And I thought we were rid of him for good...

**-+-Owari-+-**

**

* * *

**Tobikunai: Wheee! It's done!

Kansatsu: Big whoop.

Tobikunai: (deathglare worthy of Shinomori Aoshi)

Guard Armor: (In the silence) Can I be Kairi?

Tobikunai: NO!

Reveiwer's Corner-y thingy:

**Earthpaw:** _(points to chapter 6)_

**KhFan:**_(looks at Sora, tied to that tree)_

_(Looks at pair of scizzors in her hand that could easily cut through ropes)_

_(looks back at Sora)_

Naaah! _(walks away)_

Ja ne! n.n

**

* * *

**


	9. Never Stand on Stomach Acid and Attempt

Guard Armor: What about Yuffie, then?

Sora: Riku! Dammit, will you quit pranking me!

Yuffie: Squaaall! Guard Armor is trying to steal my part!

Leon: Yuffie! Stop calling me that!

Riku: I can't help it! You're just so easy to prank!

Guard Armor: Selphie? Can I be Selphie?

(SPLASH)

Sora: Dammit Riku!

Tobikunai: SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! (ahem) Now then. The world we're going to is chaotic enough without all of your yelling. SO SHUT UP!

Kansatsu: Umm... Tobikunai-sama? Just where _are_ we going?

Tobikunai: (evil grin)

Sora: We're doomed...

* * *

**o-Chapter Nine: Never Stand on Stomach Acid and Attempt to Heal While Poisoned-o**

-On the Gummi Ship-

**Sora:** Too late! He's going to swallow us! (A/N: Eeeew...)

**Monstro:** _(Bites the Gummi Ship in half and swallows it)_ Yum, yum. Them saviors of the world is gooood eatin'

**Director:** AUGH! Why, God, why? _(sobs)_

-In the Cave-

**Little Riku:** See that? It was just the wind making that noise!

**Sabor:** _(slowly creeping up behind them...)_

**Little Sora:** Aw, man! I wish it was a monster!

**Sabor:** Wish granted.

**Little Sora:** O.O

**Sabor:** n.n

**Little Sora:** _(whirls around)_ AUUUUGH!

**Little Riku**: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh... Sora... You should see your face.. HAHAHAHA! _(hands Sabor a dollar)_ Good job!

**Sabor:** n.n

**Little Sora:** I'll get you for this! Someday!

-After Spotting Pinnochio-

**Jiminy: **C'mon everybody! Hurry!

_(Donald and Goofy run off)_

**Sora:** _(looks back at all the items dropped during the last cutscene)_ Hmm... _(looks around to make sure no one's watching, then tried to cram as many items into his inventory as possible)_ AUGH! No! Not ANOTHER Orchailum!

-Scene Where Sora Enters Chamber 6-

**Riku:** Mind your own business.

**Maleficent:** Hmph! _(dissapears through a portal)_

**Riku:**_ (Waiting...)_ hmmm..._ (opens the latest issue of MCCRL Monthly)_ where are they... hmm.. _(goes back to the magazine)_

_(Meanwhile deep in the bowels of the world ((no pun intended)) )_

**Sora:** Ok, that settles it, we're hopelessly lost.

_(Heartless appear)_

**Sora:** wtf? WHAT ARE HEARTLESS DOING HERE?

**Shadow:** Killing you. What else?

**Sora:** Ok, but how did you GET here?

**Shadow:** We'll just put it this way. You don't want to know.

**Sora**: ... I think I'll leave it at that...

-After Parasite Cage Fight-

**Riku:** _(holding the unconscious puppet-loser)_ Sorry, old man. I have some unfinished business with this puppet.

**Sora: **Hey, give Pinnochio back! _(holds up Keyblade threatiningly and opens the magic menu)_ Don't make me use this!

**Riku: **9.9 Oh sure, like I'm scared of- _( accidentally trips and falls off the platform he was on into the whale spit)_

**Sora:** OH YEAH! n.n

-Before Fighting Parasite Cage II-

**Sora:**_ (runs into the stomach) _Oh... sorry. _(realizes he has just interrupted a secret meeting of... you guessed it...!)_

**MCCRL Members:** Hey! Go away, Sora! Our initiation meetings are top secret!

**Sora: **Huh? Who're you initiating?

**Parasite Cage:** Hi, Sora! n.n

**Sora:** _(breaks down crying)_

-Learning Stop-

**Sora:** Sugoi...

**Jiminy:** _(to Donald and Goofy)_ Hey, shouldn't you two run and hide?

**Donald:** I'm resigned to my fate.

**Goofy:** Yup.

**Sora:** Stop! Hey, that wasn't too bad! Wait... OH CRAP! MONSTRO"S HEATBEAT STOPPED! Now we're stuck here FOREVER!

**Director:** Well, it's not like I didn't expect it...

-Exiting The World-

**Sora:** Riku... ! What's that.. O.O HOLY CRAP! It's Hurricane Katrina!

**Donald:** _(groan)_ Can anything else go wrong?

**-+-Owari-+-**

**

* * *

**

A/N: Whee! This chapter was easy!

Kansatsu: I. Hate. Monstro.

Tobikunai: Well, so do I...

Kansatsu: But not as much as me...

Reviewer's Corner:

**Hiei's Ice Angel: **Thanks sooo much for mentioning me in your 5th chapter! n.n  
MCCRL Members: HI AXEL!


	10. We Are the Main Characters!

Tobikunai: Gomen, minna-sama... I've been in a kind of gloomy mood lately. Too many catastorphes at once...

Kansatsu: But she's back now, RIGHT, TOBIKUNAI-SAMA?

Tobikunai: Meep! Yes, ma'am...

**Disclaimer:**

Tobikunai: Bwahahahaha! It's mine! ALL MINE!

Kansatsu: 9.9 (casts Super Nova on her)

Tobikunai: ITAI! Ok, ok, it's not mine, happy?

Kansatsu: No. (cures her, then promptly casts it again)

**o-Chapter Four: We Are the Main Characters! We Casts the Spells that Makes the Octopuses Die!-o**

-Scene Where Everyone has Been Transformed-

**Donald:** O.o Sora?

**Sora:** O.O Donald? I did _not_ need to see that!

**Goofy: **...

**Sora:** OMG! You're a TURTLE! _(uncontrollable laughter)_

**Donald:** It's an improvement...

**Goofy:** HEY!

**Sora:** He has a point...

**Goofy:** HEY!

**Director:** _(laughing to hard to say "Cut")_

-Scene Where the Heartless Arrive-

**Sebastion:** Class is over! Good Luck!

**Sora:** Oi! Get back here!

_(The top of the seashell comes down... with Sebastion's claw still caught in it)_

**Sora:** _(snigger)_ Wow, aren't you coordinated?

**Sebastion**: Like you can talk!

**Sora:** Hey, just because I suck at these crappy swimming controls... chotto matte... controls? WHY DO I KEEP SAYING WEIRD STUFF?

**Donald:** Maybe we _are_ in some sort of video game.

**Goofy:** Have you been dropped on your head recently?

**Director:** How stupid can these people be?

-Palace-

**Sebastian:** _(clears his throat)_ Behold. You swim before the ruler of the seas: His Majesty, King Triton.

**Sora:** Swim? Sink is more like it, but ok... (desperatly trying to stay up)

**Donald: **Is it me, or are we getting worse at this as we go?

**Goofy:** It must be this music! It's so horrible that it's stealing our strength... Who the heck is playing it?

**Amiboshi: **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE, WARIORS OF SUZAKU! Oh, gomen...

**Donald:** Why is it that random anime characters keep getting the wrong set?

**Goofy:** And why is it always our set?

**Sora:** I suspect it has something to do with Tobikunai-sama being a hopeless fangirl. Why?

-Scene Where Everyone is Preparing for the Boss Fight-

**Triton:** Ursula draws power from her cauldron. To defeat Ursula, you must strike her cauldron with magic.

**Sora:** SUGOI!

_(Donald and Goofy exchange looks of utter horror)_

**Goofy:** Y'mean...

**Donald: **We're going to _encourage_ him to use magic? O.O

**Triton:** Sure. Is that a problem?

**Donald And Goofy:** (sweatdrop)

-Returning to the Sunken Ship-

**Shark: **GRRR! (bursts through the wall or whatever)

**Sora:** -.- I don't even have to ask anymore, do I?

**Shark: **_(holding up MCCRL badge)_ Nope!

**Sora: **I HATE YOU, DARKSIDE! T.T

-Before the Second Ursula Fight-

**Ursula: **The sea and all it's spoils BOW TO MY POWER!

**Sora:** Uhhh...Why?

**Ursula:** Because the weak die, and the strong survive! n.n

**Sora:** **(sweatdrop)**

* * *

Kansatsu: (still casting SuperNova, healing Tobikunai, and re-casting it) Now, _this_ is entertainment. 

Tobikunai: Itai... oh, thanks, itai... thanks...itai...

Sora: Wow, you can be a downright sadist sometimes, Kansatsu-sama...

Riku: (makes a solemn vow to never piss off the psychotic muse)

Karasu: I'M INSPIRED!

Kansatsu: O.O What the hell is HE doing here?

Tobikunai: Go back to YYH where you belong, dammit!

Karasu: I LOVE YOU, KURAMA! LET ME KILL YOU!

Tobikunai: You know, now would be a good time to flee for our lives.

Kansatsu: Agreed.

Reviewer's Corner:

**Hurky: **Don't worry, I'm doing all the worlds! n.n

**Wolf Fangs: **Oooh, that's a good idea...

Ja ne, minna-sama! Don't forget to review!


	11. We're Going to Need a Big Can of Raid

_(the chapter begins with Tobikunai and Kansatsu hiding behind a pillar in the middle of the Hollow Baston entrance hall, hiding from Karasu)_

Tobikunai: _(huff, huff)_ Did we lose him?

Kansatsu: I... I think so... why's he after _us,_ anyway?

Tobikunai: Probably because, seeing as I'm sort of a Kurama fangirl, he thinks we might know where he is...

Kansatsu: _(Nods sympathetically)_ The poor kitsune...Wait. How can you be a "sort of" fangirl?

Tobikunai: Well... I can't decide between him and Hiei...

Kansatsu: O.O That guy with a third eye?

Tobikunai: That's the one.

Kansatsu: _(shakes head)_ You're weird...

Karasu: _(Taps her on the shoulder)_

Kansatsu: Oh, sh-_ (blows up before she can destroy the PG rating in one fell swoop)_

Karasu: I've really got to learn to stop doing that...(for those who don't watch YYH, Karasu can make things explode by touching them) Oh, by the way, Tobikunai-sama doen't own KH...

**o-Chapter Eleven: Um... We're Going to Need a VERY Big Can of Raid...-o**

-Guillotine Square-

_(search ghosts appear out of nowhere)_

**Sora:** _(attacks them)_

**Search Ghost:** _(dies)_

**Director: **Cut! What are you all doing onstage! Were supposed to use the fake search ghosts, bakas!

-Scene From Above, Take II-

_(search ghosts appear out of nowhere)_

**Sora:**_ (Attacks them)_

**Search Ghost: **_(Vanishes, only to replaced by...)_

**MCCRL Members:** (Darkside, Sabor, Guard Armor, the Shark and Parasite Cage, for those who might have lost track) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Axel: **Fool! Behold the might of the MCCRL!

**Sora: **You aren't even in this game!

**BHK:** Neither am I... but that doesn't stop me, does it?

**Sora:** O.O Noooooooo! Why, brother, why?

**Cast and Crew:** -.-U

_(A/N: Thanks so much for the idea, **ECHO230**; and for the idea of Axel being an MCCRL wannabe, thanks **Hiei's Ice Angel**! Your fic rocks n.n)_

-Scene Where the Eeevil Little Kids are Eavesdropping-

**Shock: **Gosh, you really are stupid! Isn't it obvious?

**Lock:** O.O

**Shock:** What?

**Barrel: **Has anyone ever told you how much you sound like Lil from Rugrats?

**Lil... I mean, Shock:** ...

-Fighting Lock, Shock and Barrel-

**Lock: **Hahaha..._ (is jumping on Sora's head)_

**Shock:** Jeez, you're really bad at this, aren't you?

**Sora: **Grrr... DO I LOOK LIKE A BABYSITTER TO YOU?

**Barrel: **Not really... but we're little kids, and you're older, so it's our job to drive you insane! n.n

-Scene Before Fighting Oogie Boogie-

**O.B.: **_(eats heart)_ BWAHAHAHA- eep- itai...

**Sora:** w...t...f...?

**O.B.:** Gomen.. I...have... heartburn...

**Sora:** _(blink)_ Oookay then... does this mean we win?

-Fighting Oogie Boogie-

**Sora:** Ack! _(Dodges exploding dice for the millionth time)_ Who taught this guy torture, Karasu?

**O.B.:** No comment...

-After Defeating Oogie Boogie-

_(O.B. bursts into millions of bugs)_

**Donald:** Ewww...

**Sora:** We can't fight them guys! _(pulls out a cell phone)_ Hello? NoBugz of Arizona? Yes. Yes. Halloween Town, Torture Room. Yep. Thanks! Bye. _(hangs up)_ They'll be here any minute.

**Director:** SORA!

**Sora:** What? I'm arachniphobic..._(A/N: I'm _so_ sure I spelled that wrong...)_

* * *

Tobikunai: Eeeep! _(cowers behind Sora puppet)_

Karasu: No... puppet...too sweet and innocent..._ (dies)_

Tobikunai: Wow. That actually worked? Sugoi! Thanks, Hurkey! n.n Oh, yeah... _(looks at scorch mark on the floor that used to be Kansatsu)_ Sigh... Full-Life..

Kansatsu: _(revived) _Took you long enough...

**Reviewers Corner:**

**sora-is-a-hottie:** I know it's not something to joke about, I wrote the chapter before it hit the US... Gomennasai... T.T Sorry about your house... that sucks...

**TtRavenFan1:** Good idea! n.n

**Kh Fan:** Hmm.. should I free Riku? I'll think about it...

Riku: Think faster!

Tobikunai: Just for that... NO! Haha!

Riku Fangirls: DEATH TO TOBIKUNAI!

Ja ne, minna-sama!

Oh, P.S., if there are any other random anime characters you'd like to see "get the wrong set" in chapter 12, let me know! I might not be able to include them if I've never seen or read the series, but...


	12. Because This Doesn't Have Enough Anime R

Tobikunai: Whee! Arigato, arigato minna-sama! n.n I'm so proud of myself, I recognized at least half of the characters you requested.Unfortunatly I haven't had the privelige to see Card Captor Sakura, and I've only seen a few episodes of DBZ, so I can't include Goku, Vegeta, or Kero, sorry guys! T.T But if I did include them they probably wouldn't act right so... yeah. Like that awful mistake I made in the last chapter, sorry H.I.A.! I haven't seen any anime in at least half a year, so I think I can be forgiven for not remembering precisely what Karasu's attack does... 

Kansatsu: Just face it, Tobikunai-sama, you're a baka...

Tobikunai: Well, anyway, on to the outtakes!

* * *

**o-Chapter Twelve: Becase This Doesn't Have Enough Anime References Already...-o**

-Arriving on the Pirate Ship-

**Whoever-it-is**: I didn't think you'd come, Sora.

**Sora:** _(Gasp!)_

_(a dog demon is standing on the top deck of the ship)_

**Sesshomaru:** Good to see you again.

**Sora:** Um... huh?

_(the door bursts open to reveal a hanyou in a red outfit and a teenage girl wearing her school uniform.)_

**Inuyasha:** What the hell are you doing HERE!

**Sess:** Wreaking unholy havoc. Do I ever do anything else?

**Kagome:** Point. But we're on in five minutes...

**Inuyasha:** And Director-sama says you need to get your ass to the right set right now or you're fired.

**Sess:** Okay, okay, fine...

**Kagome:** And give us that Shikon Shard!

**Director: **CUT! We really need to put signs on these doors or something...

-Scene when Sora is About to Fight the Shadow Sora-

**Sora: **Riku, wait!

_(Riku leaves)_

**Sora:** T.T

_(Suddenly, out of the middle of nowhere, a very short youkai dressed all in black appears)_

**Tobikunai:** _(runs onto the set)_ HIEI-SAMA!

**Kansatsu:** Baka! Wait up! Remember what happened the last time we ran into a psycotic YYH youkai!

**Tobikunai: **Yes, but Hiei-sama's not a creep. n.n _(runs over to him)_

**Hiei:** Baka ningen..._(puts a hand on Tobikunai's forehead)_

**Tobikunai: **Eeep! _(flys backward)_ Hm... there must have been some sort of fluke in the wind... _(charges foreward again)_

**Kansatsu:** -.-

**Hiei:** I _really_ hate fangirls...

**Sora:** Why're you here anyway?

**Hiei:** _(shrug)_ Shadow Sora had some sort of meeting...

**Sora:** NoOoOoOo!

**Hiei:** What's wrong with the baka ningen?

**Director:** It's a long story...

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Sora:** T.T

_(Shadow Sora appears)_

**Sora:** MCCRL?

**S. Sora: **How'd you guess?

**Sora:** Something to do with how I fought you like, 20 times...

-Scene Where Sora Can FLY!-

**Sora:** _(gulp) (jumps of the side of the plank)_

**Crocodile:** _(Chomp!)_

**Donald:** Sigh... Cura...

**Director: **Cut!

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Sora:**_ (jumps)_

**Peter: **Fly, Sora! Just believe, you can do it!

**Sora:** _(Bounces off the Crocodiles mouth, then flies up...and up... and up..)_

**Director: **CUT! We're gonna need a helicopter...

-Clock Tower-

**Sora: **_(singing in a horribly off key voice_) I belieeeve I can fly, I belieeeve I can touch the sky! (falls)

**Riku:** Did Sora run out of pixie dust? Oh my, was that _my_ fault? I should really be more careful...

* * *

Tobikunai: Yeah, I know this chapter is short, But Neverland's short too! So there! Hollow Bation will be longer though, promise! How could it not be without all the wonderfull idea you've given me! n.n Speaking of which, I heard somewhere that we're not allowed to thank our reviewers for thier ideas, so... gomennasai., But I might not be able to give you credit... so I'll thank you now! n.n Arigato! I can't believe I have over 100 reviews! 

Kansatsu: For once, even I'm proud of you, Tobikunai-sama...

Tobikunai: REALLY?

Kansatsu: No.

Reviewers Corner:

**Hurkey:** Ja ne means See you later

Ja ne, minna-sama!


	13. To the Lift Stop, and Beyoooond!

Tobikunai: OoOoOoOh, the eeeeevil 13th chapter of DOOM! Bwahahahaha! Yay! I can't wait to do outtakes for my favorite world! Hollow Bastion rules!

Kansatsu: Baka! Quit being stupid and type! Type, I say!

Tobikunai: 9.9 Who died and made _you_ Okashira?

Disclaimer:Let me check... Nope. Still don't own KH.

* * *

**o-Chapter Thirteen: To the Lift Stop and Beyoooond! ... But Mostly the Lift Stop.-o**

-Scene Where the Party Sees the Castle-

**Sora: **I wonder why... I feel this warmth inside, right here...

**Donald**:Aw, you're just hungry.

**Sora:** Y'know what? You're right... _(glances at Donald) FIRE! Mmmm roast duck, my favorite..._

**Goofy:** O.O

**Sora:** What?

**Director:** CUT!

**Sora**: Hehe.. that rhymed! n.n What, cut, what, cut!

**Director:** _(Goes to smack his head repeatedly against the wall)_

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Sora:** I wonder why... I feel this warmth inside, right here...

**Random Duck that is Replacing Donald:** Aflac!

**Sora and Goofy**: _(blink, blink)_

**Director:** What? It was short notice.

**Random Duck:** Aflac!

-Scene Where Riku Steals the Keyblade-

**Riku:** Let the Keyblade chose its true master... (keyblade vanishes and reappears in his hand)

**Sora:** _(sagely) _Do not try and bend the Keyblade.

**Riku**: _(wtf?)_

**Sora:** There is no Keyblade.

**Riku:** _(Nani?) _There is no... keyblade?

**Sora:** _(nods sagely)_

**Director:** Idiots...

-Scene Where Sora is Fighting Riku the First Time-

**Sora:** _(standing in the Entrance Hall)_

**Sabor:** _(Walks in with Donald and Goofy) _Quit while you can...

**Sora:** What the... WHERE'S RIKU?

**Director**: SABOR! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

**Sabor:** _(sigh) _Gomen, gomen...

-Scene Where Sora Saves Kairi (A/N: ((Sniff...)) )-

**Sora:** A keyblade that unlocks people's hearts... I wonder...

**Donald and Goofy:** Sora, no!

**Sora:**_ (scary Soujiro smile)_

**Riku:** _(gets up and stabs him from behind)_

**Sora:** Itai...

**Riku:** Ooops... was that suposed to happen?

**Cloud, offstage**: AUGH! Save me from the idiots!

**Director**: Cut! And get a medic in here before I fire you all!

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Sora:** _(scary Soujiro smile)_

**Riku:** _(gets the darkness keyblade before Sora can and stabs himself with it)_

**Kairi:** Mmmgg... _(shock!) _RIKU!

**Sora**: Grrrr... Riku!

**Riku:** What? Didya think I was gonna let you claim all the glory for yourself?

**Director:** Cut before the fangirls come to murder us!

-Scene Where Ansem First Appears-

**Ansem:** So you have awakened at last ... (_blah blah blah)_... keyhole..._ (blah blah blah)_... But now its over.

**Kairi**: 9.9 God, you really like to hear yourself talk, don't you...

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Ansem:** Blah blah... It's over. Get out. Never show your face before me again.

**Kairi: **_(sob)_ Noooo! Aoshi-sama!

**Director:** Cut! That's it, no more Rurouni Kenshin for any of you, until I say otherwise! **TOBIKUNAI-SAMA, THAT MEANS YOU!**

**Tobikunai:** Noooooooo!

-Scene Where Everyone is Fleeing Hollow Bastion-

**Riku:** RUN! The Heartless are coming!

**Kairi and Donald:**_(flee)_

**Goofy: **Oh, c'mon guys, they're just Shadows, for pity's sake!

**Kairi**:_ (shrug) _Yes, but this is a dramatic escape.

**Goofy:** So?

**Kairi:** So we have to _escape_! As in like run away! Baka! _Defeat_ the wimpy shadows? That makes NO sense!

-After Defeating Behemoth-

**Aerith:** This is our childhood home. We wanted to see it again!

**Sora:** No it's not.

**Yuffie:** Yeah huh, it is.

**Sora:** _(very patiently)_ No.

**Leon:** _(not quite as patiently)_ _Yes. _

**Sora:** But, Aerith was born in Icicle, and Yuffie's from Wutai! Plus, Leon's from somewhere else too, I just don't know where, 'cause Tobikunai-sama hasn't played FF8!

**Director:** Cut!

**-+-Owari-+-**

**

* * *

**

Tobikunai: Whew! That's that! n.n

Kansatsu: Whatever...

Tobikunai: NANI! Is that my copy of RK volume 17? OMG, you got drool all over Sou-chan!

Kansatsu: (shrug) Director-kun said no more RuroKen for you, ne?

Tobikunai: Butbutbut you're RUINING my manga! And Sou-chan's MINE!

Kansatsu: It's a free country.

Tobikunai T.T

Kansatsu: Mehehehehehe...


	14. Apocolypse Eventually?

Kansatsu: Ahem. Welcome to chapter 14!

Riku: Why is _she_ writing this?

Kansatsu: (points to Tobikunai, who is playing KH and deeply... interested in End of the World)

Tobikunai: SHINY FLOOR SHINY FLOOR SHINY FLOOR! See, look, you take a step, and sparklies come out of the FLOOR! And they're shiny and prettyfull just like SUGAR!

Kansatsu: -.- Boredom. Tobikunai. Candy. Enough said.

Riku: Ah.

Tobikunai: SHINY!

Kansatsu (eye ... twitch) BAM! (hits Tobikunai over the head with a mallet)

Tobikunai: Itai... Kansatsu-kun! I'm supposed to be your boss! How come you're such a bitch to me?

Kansatsu: 'Cause you can't get rid of me or you won't be able to write! n.n

Tobikunai: I hate it when you're right...

Kansatsu: Deal with it, girl!

**Disclaimer:**

Tobikunai: Can I trade my math homework for KH?

Square-sama: No.

Tobikunai: My book report book?

Square-sama: Nope.

Tobikunai: MY MUSE? (shoves Kansatsu in front of them hopefully)

Square-sama: NO!

Tobikunai: T.T

**o-Chapter Fourteen: Apocolypse... Eventually. Aw, Screw it, Let's Do Sidequests!-o**

_(I noticed that I forgot to add a scene where Sora learns Gravity! Baka authoress! So here it is)_

-Scene Where Sora Learns Gravity- 

**Info Screen Thingy:** Attained the power of the stars. Learned the magic spell Gravity.

**Sora:** OOOOH, sugoi!

**Goofy and Donald**: _(back away slowly...)_

**Sora:** GRAVITY!

**Donald:** Is it over?

**Sora:** Umm... sort of.

**Donald:** Sort of?

**Goofy:** Gawrsh. It kinda looks like we've been set on a direct collision course... with...the...sun.

**Sora:** Ooops?

-Scene Where Sora Gets the Spellbinder Keyblade-

**Merlin:** Here. Take this.

**Info Screen Thingy:** Sora obtained Spellbinder.

**Donald:** WHAT? We've been zapped, frozen, and crashed into, not to mention Aerith and Monstro died, the scenery was burned down, and we're on a direct collision course with the sun, all because of his idiocy (a.k.a. magic) and after all that, you want to REWARD him?

**Merlin:** Well...umm... yeah! There a problem?

**Donald and Goofy:**_(sweatdrop_)

-Scene Where Sora Is Talking To Pooh-

**Pooh:** I'm Pooh.

**Sora:** _(snicker_) Umm... who named you?

**Pooh:** Myself. Why?

**Sora:** _(giggle)_ Oh, no reason..

-Scene Where Everyone's About to Fight Phantom-

**Sora:** _(flyin' along...)_ Ano..? Directer-sama? Where's Phantom?

**Director:** CUT! Phantom, Where the heck are you?

**Phantom: **_(sitting in a corner of the backstage) _SNOOOOORE...

**Director:** PHANTOM!

**Phantom:** _(SNORT)_ Huh wha-?

**Director:** _(slaps forehead)_

_

* * *

_Kansatsu: What? That's it? That's got to be the shortest and most unfunny thing you've ever written! And that's saying something.

Tobikunai: Gomen nasai, gomen nasai! I know it was bad, sorry minna-sama! Unfortunatly, this fic is going to have to go on a short haitus, because on the 14th I have to go to my dad's boss's wedding, and if I don't get my ass in gear on my book report, my LA grade is going to take a SERIOUS drop, so I hope you can put up with a lack of updates for a little while... gomen nasai, really! I hope to be ready with the final non-crappy chapter-

Kansatsu: Non-crappy chapter? Written by YOU? Fat chance.

Tobikunai: (glares at her) -by the week of the 18th. Gomen nasai! T.T

Oh, and this is REALLY imoportant! When you review this, let me know if your a Riku fangirl or not! Why? Patience, grasshopper. All shall become clear in due time...

Kansatsu: Frick due time, it's-

Tobikunai: (swiftly claps a hand over her mouth)


	15. SORA'S REVENGE!

Tobikunai: Tadaima! Ow! KANSATSU-KUN! Quit it, will ya? 

Kansatsu: (is gripping the authoresses wrist with one hand and pressing her fingers onto the keyboared with the other) No. I'm making sure you get this chapter written.

Tobikunai: ITAI! I'm not double-jointed, yanno! Matte, dame, my thumb doen't bend like that! ITAI!

Kansatsu: God, this is fun.

Tobikunai: Waaah! GOMENNASAI, MINNA-SAMA! Now make her stop!

Disclaimer:

Kansatsu: You people STILL think Tobikunai-sama owns KH? (mumble: Bunch of headcases...)

Tobikunai: Kansatsu-kun! Don't talk about Square-sama's lawyers that way! ITAI!

* * *

**o-Chapter Fifteen: SORA'S REVENGE!-o**

_(A/N: What? Don't tell me you forgot!)_

-Scene Where Ansem Talks... and Talks... and Talks-

**Ansem:** Blah blah blah... in the end, every heart returns to the darkness WHENCE IT CAME! Darkness it the heart's TRUE ESSENCE...

_ (silence)_

_(silence)_

_(yet more silence) _

**Director:** SORA!

**Sora:** _(snoring cutely)_

**Director:** SORA! I'm talking to you!

**Sora: **_(SNORT)_ FORTY-SEVEN! Huh? Oh, gomen... _(ahem)_ That's a lie.

**R****iku (offstage):** Y'see why_ I _should have been the keyblade master?

-Scene Where Everyone Fights Ansem and His Heartless Guardian-

_(Cutscene Ends)_

_(Ansem... is gone and has been replaced by...)_

**SPLEE!**

_(A grey, long eared, hyperactive... cat?)_

**Waffle:** SPLEE!

**Sora:** WTF_? That's_ the final boss?

**Riku:** _(laughing uncontrolably)_ I'm an absolute genious! Heeeheee...

**Sora and Director:** DAMMIT, RIKU!

-Scene Where Sora Fights Ansem and His Heartless Guardian Alone-

**Ansem:** SUBMIT!

**Sora:** Eeep! No! I don't wanna be submitededed!

**Director: **Cut! Jeez Sora, if you're gonna adlib, you could at least use proper grammer!

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Ansem:** SUBMIT!

**Sora:** Eeek! _(dodges the attack)_

**Ansem:** Hey... YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DODGE THAT!

**Sora:** Well... You're a sap-sucker!

**Ansem:** What... you're a big meanie! _(runs off crying)_

**Director: **Oookay then... and that means... what, exactly?

**Sora:** I dunno.

-Scene Where Ansem Is... Talking Some More. Will It Ever End?-

**Ansem:** Blah, blah... Look as hard as you are able. You'll not find even the smallest glimmer of light!

**Sora:** Um... are you sure?

**Donald:** Yeah, There's a light right there above the door...

**Goofy:** Plus are eyes are shiny...

**Sora: **And it looks like your ship-a-ma-bob has little sparklies all over it...

**Ansem:** Um.. That's umm... there's something wrong with your eyes! Yeah, that's it...

**Sora:** Plus, if there was no light at all we wouldn't even show up...

**Donald: **Yeah, It'd be way to dark to see...

**Ansem: **OK, OK, so its not dark at all! Sheesh!

-Scene Where Sora is Closing the Door-

**Riku: **Take care of her...

**Sora: **_(nods)_

**Riku: **Wait! I... I have a confession to make... Darkside's not the leader of the MCCRL... I AM!

**Sora:** Grrrrr! _(slams the door down on his fingers)_

**Director:** CUT! Ermm... We'll just do that one later...

-Scene Where Sora and Kairi Get Seperated-

**Sora:** I'll come back for you!

**Kairi:** I-I know you will!

_(the platforms move farther apart... and Sora falls over the edge...)_

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Kairi:** I-I know you will! (their grip breaks)

**Utada Hikaru:** _(singing in a high pitched, annoying voice) _I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVERS! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES AND THIS IS IS HOW IT GOES! I KNOW A SONG-

**Director:** CUT!

-Scene Where Sora's Running Down the Road-

**Sora**: C'mon, lets go! (they start running)

**Soujiro:** _(A few dozen yard away, walking along and singing Journey)_ Nani ga mitsukeru n' jarou, nani wo mitsukerurenai-

**Sora:** _(Oh crap I can't stop!)_ LOOK OUT! _(Crashes into him)_

**Sou-chan:** Oh, this isn't Meiji Japan? My bad... n.n

**Director:** Get... a ... sign... on... our... door... right... now...

-Scene From Above, Take II-

**Mysterious Voice: **Remember, Sora, you are the one who will open the door to the light...

**Sora:** Oh, whoops... we sorta... closed it. Is that a problem?

_(Aaaand now, the moment you've all been waiting for... SORA'S REVENGE!)_  
-Scene Where Sora is Closing The Door, Take II-

**Riku: **Take care of her...

**Sora:** _(nods and closes the door)_

**Director:** Cut. OK, take 5, minna-kun, that's a wrap. _(To himself) _Whew, It's about time nothing went wrong...

**Sora:** Kairi, C'mon! I planted a camera-

**Director:** Hm... wonder what that's all about? Ah well... _(shrugs)_

_(Meanwhile, beyond the door, Riku slowly turns around...)_

**Hei's Ice Angel: **RIKU-CHAN!

**X-x-Kara-x-X:** Wow, Sora was right!

**Riku:** Augh! FANGIRLS! Get me outta here!

**Shale 101:** Nope, doors locked!

**xclutchingxmyxcurex:** You're staying with us!

**vivi-the-fire-bringer:** Forever...

**HIA:** ...and ever...

**Kara:** ...and ever...

**Shale**: ...and ever...

**xclutchingxmyxcurex:** ..and ever!

**Vivi:** So tough luck!

**Fangirls:** _(GLOMP!)_

**-+-Owari-+-**

**

* * *

**Tobikunai: Yokatta! Wait... "Owari"? "Owari"? T.T

Kansatsu: (rolls her eyes) Yup, its the end.

Tobikunai: Butbutbut what about all my happy memories!

Kansatsu: "_Happy_ memories"? Does being chased by a homicidal bomb youkai count as a "_happy_ memory"?

Tobikunai: Oh, that was that _one _time!

Kansatsu: ...

Tobikunai: Well, anyway, minna-sama, I hope you like Sora's vengence! n.n I'll see you all when KH2 comes out! In the meantime, you can all read my next fic, Castle in the Sky, the Prolouge's already up!

Oh, BTW, when you review, tell me your fave outtake (out of all of them) Why? Well, for the sake of my inflated ego, duh!

Kansatsu: (rolls eyes)

**Kansatu-Tobikunai: **_SAYONARA, MINNA-SAMA_


	16. Just so ya know

**Tobikunai:** I just want to tell all of you who may not know that I have NOT played COM, so I will not be making an outtakes fic for it. I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable writing outtakes for a game I haven't played, even if I've read the game script. I may make some outtakes for it based on the game script, but if I do it will be far in the future (at least after I've finished Castle in the Sky and We'll Be Back) and will probably be a oneshot. Gomen nasai, minna-sama!

**Kansatsu:** Oh, thank you, God...

**Tobikunai:** _(glare)_ Those of you who enjoyed the outtakes though will probably be fond of We'll Be Back, especially fans of the MCCRL, whom the story centers around. I hope you can get your laughs at that, instead of COM outtakes. If not, well... sucks to be me then!

**Kansatsu: **_(ahem)_ Will you stop your shameless plugging for 3 seconds?

**Tobikunai:** _(another glare)_ Sayonara, minna-sama! n.n


End file.
